Simon was in the studio this afternoon, but it was touch and go for a while. You see, Simon had been diagnosed with rabies earlier in the week. Not many people get rabies these days (no-one has acquired it in the UK since 1902) but Simon is special that way. The doctor was especially concerned with how Simon caught the disease. Normally it is from scratch or bite from an infected animal, but instead it was because Simon bit a fox. Right on the back. Apparently it was harassing his chickens and so Simon showed it a thing or two by stalking it through the woods in the dead of night and biting it. I'm sure it got the message.
But don't be worried reader, while rabies is usually fatal, Simon's 'unique' biological make-up means that he is hardy enough to withstand it. Basically, throughout his 109 years on this planet, Simon has caught a little of pretty much every disease going, and is thus immune to them. The only thing he isn't immune to is the charms of Sandra Bullock.
Ok, that was a lie (except for the rabies fact!), but Simon was in the studio to talk about the UK box office, new releases in the cinema, and his pick of films on TV for the coming week.