Sunday, 7 December 2014

The Radio Verulam Film Guide: 5th December 2014

Tonight Simon (or Studley Spankington, as his male stripper business cards call him) was in the studio with Danny and Chris. Honor (who also works on the show on Friday and as such has tacitly agreed to be a potential figure of fun in these delightful little postings) was in the studio and had just about calmed down from when she saw Danny, Chris and Simon all bedecked in their 'taches. Those days were long gone, as it is now Dovember, where men wear a dove on their head to raise awareness for Trench Foot.

Simon came into the studio with his dove, Harold, attached to his head by a piece of string, which stretched from his ear to Harold's foot. The dove, however, was not the most worrying thing about Simon's appearance (Harold was rather placid actually, and sat quietly during recording). When shaving his massive Stalinesque lip blanket off, he accidentally cut himself. Not once, not twice, but 342 times. Simon is nothing if not a traditionalist, so he likes to use sharpened flints as blades because, as he says, 'razors are for sissies.'

As a result, his face now looked like he had fallen head first into a giant cactus. Some people can pull this look off. Simon is not one of them. Still, he manfully presented the Film Guide like he normally does - forgetting facts, names and not having done the research properly. Just like the good ol' days.

Ok, that was lie, but Simon was in the studio to talk about the UK box office, the new releases in the cinema and his pick of films on free-to-air TV for the coming week.

Friday
Planes, Trains and Automobiles
10.40pm – 12.25am
BBC3

Comfort and Joy
12.25am – 2.05am
BBC2

Saturday
Play Misty for Me
11.55pm – 1.40am
ITV

The Talent Mr Ripley
12.40am – 3.05am
Channel 4

Sunday
Passport to Pimlico
3.10pm – 4.55pm
Film4

Apollo 13
4.00pm – 6.35pm
ITV

Monday
Hot Fuzz
9.00pm – 11.45pm
ITV2

Wednesday
Rabbit Hole
11.35pm – 1.00am
BBC1

Thursday
Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves
9.00pm – 12.00am
5*

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